I know this church is true

Dylan and I arrived in Mexico on Thursday.  Dylan was awesome for the plane ride as well as the drive.  It was so good to see Ger again and can I just say...Dang my husband is so cute!  I love looking up and seeing his huge smile when we come through the doors of the terminal.  Dylan ran right up to him and gave him the biggest hug.  

The following day, Ger had to finish up a job with his brother so Dylan and I spent the day with my nieces and my sister-in-law.  When Ger came home from work he told me we had to get to the church to meet with the elders.  He is cooking for the ward Christmas party and he supposedly had to meet with the elders to discuss the details of the party.  When we arrived to the church, Ger was acting really funny.  We were waiting around for a while and I kept asking him, "what are we waiting for, I thought you just had to talk about the Christmas party".  Oh boy was I wrong.  He pulled me outside with Dylan and said, "I want to tell you something"...my heart started pounding.  I know that look.  "I'm getting baptized because I know in my heart that it's the right thing to do and I want to be with you forever".  Um what?????  Are you serious??? I was in complete shock!  Ger has been getting the discussions for the past year and he has had a lot of reservations about getting baptized so you  can imagine....I was shocked...I already said that, I know... but really....Shocked.  

We were meeting at the church so Ger could have an interview with the mission president.  When the mission president asked me how I felt about Gerardo's decision, I told him I was so happy for him and for our family.  I felt like all the questions we have had were being answered in that one moment.  I felt like my husband and I were finally in a place where we knew the same things and we felt the same way about the gospel.  I felt sure that the past two years of hardship we have suffered were all worth it.  I felt hopeful for our future and for our family.  

My husband became a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints on Saturday, December 15th, 2012.  

The past four months of our lives

It seems like I only have time to blog in between semesters.  The last four months have been pretty crazy.  Missy had another baby boy, Henry and Mandy got married!  I have been in school and Dylan has been attending preschool.  

Dylan has learned so much in preschool!  He loves to sing songs that he learns in school and he loves to play with dinosaurs.  He still struggles with his grammar but it's too cute to correct him.  He says thing like, "mommy will you hold you", or "mommy help you", or my favorite, "mommy, are you all wet"...no Dylan YOU are all wet...not me:)  He still doesn't eat very much or very well, which drives me crazy!  He is very bossy but he makes up for it by being extremely cute and polite.   He always says please and thank you.

Ger has been way sick in Mexico and I hate that I wasn't with him to boss him around and tell him what was wrong with him...and take care of him of course.    He has a sinus infection and an ear infection.  He is taking as many pills as an elderly man in a nursing home.  Sorry babe, but it's the truth.  You are a hot mess. 

  

Dylan was the ring bearer at Mandy and Josh's wedding 

He was also my date:)

 The Trevenen Family

We are so happy that Josh is a part of our family now 

Henry's baby blessing.  He's the little bundle in Mandy's arms

There he is!  Henry Enoch Jurgens 

And here is the boss of my house...Dylan the Destroyer

No caption required for this stink bug

Skyping with the sickly one

Faith

Gerardo and I have been losing our faith in the possibility of him coming home. It's easy to lose that faith when dozens of lawyers tell us there is nothing they can do.

When our faith is weary, we consider bringing Ger home illegally. We pray about it and I always know the answer, but God knows how stubborn we are so he first gives a a whisper, then a nudge, then he puts it right in front of us until we can no longer deny the answer.

I knew as soon as we prayed that Ger shouldn't try to cross the border but I ignored that "whisper". Later Ger told me he felt the same way. Again I ignored that "nudge". The following night we went to church to meet up with some members to play soccer and a member of the ward, whom we have never met, came up to us and told us the importance of family and listening to our prayers (right is front of us). He talked to us about how dangerous it is at the border and how difficult it would be for our family if Ger were to get arrested or if anything were to happen to him.

After meeting this man I thought, ok we can do this, we can wait. We can be patient until....what?

I thought about that a lot today. Where are we going to be in a year when I graduate? Where is Dylan going to grow up? Are we supposed to stay in Mexico? Are we supposed to move to Canada? These seem like completely impossible decisions for us to make. These thoughts made me go crazy today.

Today I gave up on the possibility of Ger coming home.

I thought, perhaps this is God's plan for us. Perhaps we are supposed to live in Mexico. That thought didn't feel right. I can't imagine Ger being away from his daughter or my family any longer. All of these feelings made me crazy. I had given up. I told Ger, "It's out of our hands and that makes me feel so helpless". Gerardo prayed for us to get a little hope so my mind could be at ease. He prayed for some kind of sign that things could change for us.

I believe his prayer was answered today. A lawyer we worked with a few months ago called us, here in Mexico, to get some information so he could try to reduce Gerardo's time before he could meet with immigration again. I have to believe that he called us as an answer to our prayers. I have to believe that he called us so that I would not give up my faith.

Time flies when I'm with you

this summer has flown by and i can't believe i only have another month with you

time stands still when i'm without you, and passes by so quickly when i'm with you

we've said goodbye to you 4 times in the past 19 months

four times we shook as we hugged each each other at the airport in Guadalajara

four times i had to tell Dylan that he wasn't going to see his daddy for awhile

four times i cried all the way to salt lake city

four times i walked back into our empty home without you

four times i skyped with you to tell you we made it home safely

four times i had to see that look on your face through the computer that i can't bear

i know there is a plan for us, but why do we have to be apart

i know we will be together for eternity after you gain a testimony of the church

i know these months without you should be bearable because of the knowledge of eternal families

i know the right decisions are so hard to make

i know we've talked with countless lawyers who say there is nothing we can do

i know there is little hope for changes in the laws

i know the consequences of bringing you home illegally and yet it crosses my mind daily

on august 11th we will say goodbye to you for a fifth time

i cannot take looking in our sons eyes while he cries out for you

Lord give me the strength i need to be there for our son

Dear Dylan

You are growing up so fast and I don’t want to forget any of these special moments with you.  You love your mom and dad so much and we love you.  You have seen and done so much in your short life.   You have more stamps in your passport than most adults. 

When we are in Utah you are accustomed to talking to your daddy on the computer. You are always a little confused when we transition from one place to another.  When we first came to visit your dad in Mexico you were so excited!  You woke up in the middle of the night and said, “hi mama” then you heard a strange man in our bed and yelled out (at 3am) “look who it is!  It’s dada!!”  Priceless!

You love all your family both in Mexico and in the U.S.A.  You are the most patient little boy and I am so glad that you constantly remind us how lucky we are.  It’s not easy to feel blue when we are with you. 

You talk so much and say the funniest things.  You call your dad baby or babe because that’s what your mom calls him.  You love ice cream and peanut butter and ask for them multiple times a day.  You used to be such a good eater but now all you want is sweets!  Not cool.  Hopefully this phase will pass. 

You currently speak more Spanish than English. 

My favorites: 

Aquí aquí aquí!!! (you mean right here...you say this A LOT!!)

Ayúdame (help me)

Te ayudo (can I help you, but you mean, help me)

Pobrecito (por baby)  you say this to pets while you torment them

 “on tas” (donde estas)

"mi mis"  (dormido--go to sleep)

You wake up in the middle of the night and say, “more milk!  More milk!”  Sometimes you say please…sometimes

I'm convinced that you think you are a tiger.  You chase your primo's around for hours and growl at them.  They are very patient with you and take good care of you.

You love to walk like Mogeley from the "Jungle Book".  

You are addicted to technology just like your mom.  I can't punish you for it because I am just as bad.  You know how to open Netflix and start your movies on the iPad.  You know how to call people on my cell phone.  You call a lot of people but to you they are all Nana.  

We love you so much Dylan!

Lately in Zamora

Lately...

My family is THE most important thing to me, so being with them is all I would ever ask for.  

I do however, miss my family in Utah and I can't even imagine how Ger feels!  He hasn't seen my family or his daughter for a year and a half.  I am so close with my sisters and my parents that I can't help but feel a hole in my heart when I am not around them.  I also ache to see my step-daughter.  Her mother is not my biggest fan so I don't get to see her unless Ger is around.  I feel like I was always so harsh on her and impatient and I wish I could go back and have a do-over.  I was a step mom before I was a mom and it was hard for me because I had no idea what I was doing.  I wanted what was best for my Laurita and at times I just didn't know how to do that.  She has such a big heart and is the most loving little girl in the world.  She calls Ger and I two or three times a week.  I feel such warmth in my heart when she tells me with her sweet little voice, "I love you and miss you Cwis".  Oh I miss her so much!  

Isn't she the cutest!?  

The Good and the Bad of Mexico 

Zamora, Michoacan is a very foreign place but I have actually made a few friends and most days, I like it here.  I have acquired many nicknames and I'm not sure if anyone actually knows my real name.  Dylan falls on his face at least once a day and despite our efforts he acquires all kinds of bug bites.  We sleep under a mosquito net and spray him every day but those darn things just love his chubby white cheeks! 

His poor cheeks:(

He fell of our bed in the middle of the night and landed on the hard concrete floor:(

Poor kid still looks so happy with his fat lip

Mosquitos are not our biggest worry, it's the rats.  I HATE RATS!  The other day I was sitting on the floor playing with Dylan and his cousin Tony when I heard a little noise coming from behind our desk.  I've been here long enough to know what that little noise was so I immediately jumped on the the bed with both kids in my arms and screamed like a little girl for my brother-in-law.  The kids looked at me like I was crazy and went about playing while my brother-in-law chased out a FOOT LONG RAT!  Yeesh!  I am getting the heebie jeebies just recalling what happened.  Ger has made a lot of efforts to get rid of them and I move the furniture and clean our room like a neurotic freak every day.  I hope we don't get any more unwanted visitors or I'm gonna sleep with a bat!  

All of this being said, there are two boys in my life who constantly remind me of how lucky I am.  I just need to vent sometimes:)

The Marman's are Here!!

We recently met some pretty amazing elders here in Zamora.  Elder Clawson is form Riverton, UT and the other Elder something (can't remember his name) is from Arizona.  Ger and I love them both!  They invited us to a baptism this past Friday and it was a wonderful spiritual experience for my family. It's so funny to see Ger experience all these things that I have grown up with.  He heard (but did not believe) that Mormon's get baptized by getting dunked in the water until they see Jesus.  If they don't see Jesus then....they don't pass!  Boy was I glad to clear that up!!

The elders also stopped by last night for Gerardo's first discussion.  He expressed his love for our family and for his Heavenly Father.  He still has some reservations about the LDS faith but I believe through prayer and faith, he will come to know the truth of the gospel.  He agreed to read the Book of Mormon with me every night so last night we started with Mosiah chapter 12 and later prayed about it.  I know that he felt the Holy Ghost and I know that one day he will have a testimony of the church.  

Perhaps this is the reason Gerardo didn't get his papers.  

Our lives in Mexico...thus far

I have to admit, living in Mexico is not for the faint at heart.  I have learned how to appreciate all the things back home so much more (like having a sink and a washer and dryer)!  I do our laundry every day by hand because it takes me a small lifetime if I go a couple days without doing it.  My sister-in-law is much faster than me.  I have to hurry and do laundry while she picks up my niece from school otherwise she would sneak into my room and steal our dirty clothes to wash them herself.  

I have become even more freaked out by lizards, cockroaches, and mice....need I say more???

I have discovered that Dylan can NEVER be out of my site, or he could...

Fall of the roof into the neighbors house 

Run out onto the road and, as my sister-in-law words it, be planchar gratis (ironed for free)

Climb up the ladder in the backyard onto the roof (he actually did that while I was making dinner!)

Or he could put a bug in his mouth (he has not been successful yet..)!!!! 

All of these lovely things aside, there are a lot of things about Mexico that I love.  First of all, my husband is here and I would rather be living in a dirt hole than living in Utah without him.  Secondly, the people here, for the most part, are so polite and accepting.  I started going to Zumba every morning and the ladies that I go with are so fun!  I only understand about half of what they say, but they are super patient with me and my struggling Spanglish.  My Zumba instructor is a hot dark Latina who knows how to shake her hips and I am the opposite!   I am very grateful that there are no mirrors in the room so that I can pretend that I too am a hot Latina who can shake it.  

1st Year of Nursing School

This morning I took my last test of the first year of nursing school!

 I loved my clinical groups both this year! I made some amazing friends who helped me get through the hard days. My family has always been so supportive and it’s nice to have friends that can do the same!

 This year has been a huge challenge but it has been so worth it. I learned so much and I love LOVE love "working" in the hospital. I met so many amazing people who I could offer a little assistance to, even if it was just to hold their hand.

It’s so scary and exciting to think that in a year.....I will be a real nurse!!!!

Thanks little buddy for always being so patient with me while I studied. I'm all yours this summer!!!

...

Instead of asking God, Why us? Ask Him, Why not us?

Hopeful

Gerardo has been in Mexico for just over a year with no sign of being able to come home to the states. He has to wait 9 more years until the Mexican consulate will even consider giving him a Visa! Knowing all this...I am still hopeful. Maybe the law will change, maybe we can find someone who can get him an earlier appointment, maybe God will work in his mysterious ways and just bring my husband home to me. I don't know what it is, but something good is coming our way. I have always felt so hopeless and helpless about Ger's citizenship status but God has answered my prayers and told me that Ger will be home with his family again...and soon!

This last year has been very difficult and at times it has been unbearable. I have cried buckets of tears and I have given 100's of pep talks to my husband and family. With all of that being said...I have also become so much stronger. I have become a stronger mother and I have become a stronger wife. I always knew that I loved my husband and that I married the right man but this experience has made me love him and our son so much more! I have a new appreciation for everything that I have and I spend the majority of the time thanking God for the things that I have and not akin for the things that I don't. I have grown to appreciate my family more than ever and the love that we share.

I know that God has a plan for us.