Gerardo and I have been losing our faith in the possibility of him coming home. It's easy to lose that faith when dozens of lawyers tell us there is nothing they can do.
When our faith is weary, we consider bringing Ger home illegally. We pray about it and I always know the answer, but God knows how stubborn we are so he first gives a a whisper, then a nudge, then he puts it right in front of us until we can no longer deny the answer.
I knew as soon as we prayed that Ger shouldn't try to cross the border but I ignored that "whisper". Later Ger told me he felt the same way. Again I ignored that "nudge". The following night we went to church to meet up with some members to play soccer and a member of the ward, whom we have never met, came up to us and told us the importance of family and listening to our prayers (right is front of us). He talked to us about how dangerous it is at the border and how difficult it would be for our family if Ger were to get arrested or if anything were to happen to him.
After meeting this man I thought, ok we can do this, we can wait. We can be patient until....what?
I thought about that a lot today. Where are we going to be in a year when I graduate? Where is Dylan going to grow up? Are we supposed to stay in Mexico? Are we supposed to move to Canada? These seem like completely impossible decisions for us to make. These thoughts made me go crazy today.
Today I gave up on the possibility of Ger coming home.
I thought, perhaps this is God's plan for us. Perhaps we are supposed to live in Mexico. That thought didn't feel right. I can't imagine Ger being away from his daughter or my family any longer. All of these feelings made me crazy. I had given up. I told Ger, "It's out of our hands and that makes me feel so helpless". Gerardo prayed for us to get a little hope so my mind could be at ease. He prayed for some kind of sign that things could change for us.
I believe his prayer was answered today. A lawyer we worked with a few months ago called us, here in Mexico, to get some information so he could try to reduce Gerardo's time before he could meet with immigration again. I have to believe that he called us as an answer to our prayers. I have to believe that he called us so that I would not give up my faith.
1 comment:
I wish and hope for the best for you and your beautiful family! Your faith and strength are inspiring! You've probably heard it a million times but 'hang in there', it's usually not until the event or circumstance has passed that we are able to realize just why we were faced with it! I can already see that you guys are learning and growing so much from what you are being challenged with. And teaching others' along the way! Thanx!
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