"If you are helpless"

"If you are helpless
He is not

If you are lost
He is not

If you don't what what to do next
He knows

It would take a miracle you say

Well if it takes a miracle
 why not" 

-Boyd K. Packer 

So many times we have felt helpless and lost
So many times our faith has been tested
But more times than not 
We have believed in our future as a family 
We have believed that there's a reason for this challenge 

Yesterday we learned that Ger is finally getting another visa interview on October 4th
This is another initial interview where the consulate in Mexico determines our eligibility 
We got this far last time and we were denied

This time is different 

When we pray together 
We both know Ger is coming home 

I'm putting this in words because as evidenced by my last post
We often forget the answer we so clearly received once 

We get to be a normal family again

Giving Up

I don't like to blog about sad or difficult things 

I'd much rather wait until the difficult thing has passed, then blog about it

But this difficult thing has lasted for 2 years and 8 months 

I cannot believe we are still waiting for this visa interview

I've received about 5 emails from the national visa center asking for the SAME document

My paralegal has sent this document 3+ times!!! 

I'm so frustrated!  

I've called the national visa center and they tell me the same thing

They are waiting for this document that I know has been sent

Tonight Ger told me on Skype, he felt defeated 

He has given up

He doesn't believe the interview will ever happen

The scary thing is, I DO know he will get an interview because I know they want our money and they will schedule the appointment so that we have to pay the fees

But what I don't know, is if he will get approved

What am I supposed to do? 

I've prayed and I have felt hopeful in the past 

But now....

I don't know

I can't just leave and quit my job

I have debts and student loans to pay 

And there is the obvious reasons of not wanting to leave my family and the comfort of home

But is that what I am supposed to do?  

I can't be defeated 

I have to be strong for Ger but when he tells me he is giving up I am speechless

How many times can I say, It's going to work out?

How many times can I tell him to be patient

Dylan and Ger deserve to be together 

Ger is a wonderful father and husband and we miss him

If only immigration would look at these situations 

and see what goes on inside the lives of families like ours

If only they knew how honest, hard working, and loving Ger is

This is such a downer post but it's difficult to have these conversations with friends and family because they simply don't know what to say and I don't want them to feel sad

I have to be strong for everyone but the weight I feel on my chest is getting to heavy to bear

On being a grown up

After passing my boards in May I was faced with some new challenging and exciting experiences

Ger and I always said, once I'm done with nursing school, we will figure out our future

Nursing school came and went and we are still waiting for Ger to have another visa interview

I was offered a job at Hunstman Cancer Hospital which has been a dream of mine for many years

I was so scared to accept the job

I prayed and prayed and prayed some more

I've learned how to be patient and I am so blessed to be so close with my Heavenly Father to know when He is answering me

I felt peace when I asked if I should start my nursing career here in Utah

I know Ger is coming home 

I know that this is part of the plan

I know this because, Ger has recently become a ward missionary 

My husband?!  A ward missionary?! 

That's right 

He sure is

And our love is getting stronger every day

I love him so much:)

Back to being a nurse

It's tough

I am constantly second guessing myself

It's scary

I am responsible for keeping people alive..yikes

I have another job working PRN at Silverado with my lovely mother 

It's an Alzheimer's community

I love it and hate it

I have a lot more independence 

My first day alone was nuts but I got through it and I didn't cry

I have yet to be alone at Hunstman 

I train for two more weeks

I'll keep you posted on these experiences

I love working with oncology patients

They are so unique and being in their presence is breathtaking

Some of these people have just found out they have cancer two weeks ago and they are already turning their whole lives upside down to receive treatment

These people have faced more than I can ever imagine

It puts life into perspective for me every day

I am so lucky to have my health and even more lucky to have the health of my son and my husband

We are blessed

I have been working more hours than I would like but I need to catch up on bills

I miss my baby so much when I'm away from him 

The other day when I got home from work he asked me, 

"mommy, did you lost me"

broke my heart

I hate working so much 

My first and favorite job is being a mom

Once I get through training I am only working 3 to 4 days a week 

The other days are for this kid